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Have to do something I don't want to
- mrsb04
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- ITP since 2014. Retired nurse. My belief is empower patients to be involved as much as possible in their care. Read, read, read & ALWAYS question medics about the evidence base they use.
It is not a happy time. Dad can be very difficult at times but still has mental capacity so cannot forced out of bed if he refuses to do so as that is going against his wishes.
My mother in law died yesterday from pneumonia, she had been in a dementia home for last 3 years. Both my remaining uncles are in dementia homes too.
My sole remaining aunt, my dad's sister, is now in her late 80s as fit as a fiddle, still living and managing independently in her own home.
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- CindyL
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I hear you about being of sound mind. Mum is the same ( for the most part, she is quite deaf). I think a lot of the problems she had in the hospital was because she wouldn't get out of bed and she didn't like her PT so refused to do anything for them. It took us telling her that if she didn't do what they wanted, she wouldn't be able to come home.
I have an aunt who is really forgetful these days. She has been diagnosed with mild dementia.
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- MelA
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My husband feels in the elderly one either has mental capacity or health. His Dad had mental capacity when he died at 92, my Dad had health until he broke his hip & died at 93.
"Instead of wasting your time worrying about symptoms, just get it checked out" -Nieca Goldberg, MD
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- CindyL
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- mrsb04
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- ITP since 2014. Retired nurse. My belief is empower patients to be involved as much as possible in their care. Read, read, read & ALWAYS question medics about the evidence base they use.
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- CindyL
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- mrsb04
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- ITP since 2014. Retired nurse. My belief is empower patients to be involved as much as possible in their care. Read, read, read & ALWAYS question medics about the evidence base they use.
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So sad when one's parents lose their independence and dignity.
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- CindyL
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It is hard to see our parents change. Since mum's stroke, she doesn't like change. My mother probably wouldn't even try to use headphones. It was hard enough getting her to talk on a cell phone 3 years ago when she wanted to talk to a cousin.
I find myself having to speak louder to mum these days. Sometimes I call her "Nannie" as talking to her reminds of times she talked to her mother. It was comical at times.!
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- CindyL
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We are still going to do whatever we can to bring her home. The doctor says we'll wait until the end of next week and see how she is. Now that some more fluid is gone, she may start eating better.
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- mrsb04
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- ITP since 2014. Retired nurse. My belief is empower patients to be involved as much as possible in their care. Read, read, read & ALWAYS question medics about the evidence base they use.
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- CindyL
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We're hoping to be able to make arrangements for her to have a drain put in and have Extra Mural come in and do the tapping. That way, we won't be putting her in the hospital every few weeks.
I'm glad you can Facetime with your dad. My mother wouldn't even try to do something like that with us. Steven suggested it a couple of times when he didn't go up. Mum is in a ward with 3 other ladies, so yelling at her is hard. And we have to wear masks when visiting, so that makes it harder for her to hear me. Two of her roommates are wanderers and keep coming over to mum's bed. I called Tuesday night at supper to talk to her and one of the other ladies answered the phone. I was not impressed.
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- CindyL
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They took another 6 liters of fluid off her last week, but nothing since. Her belly is distended again and in my opinion, needs another draining. They put a permanent drain in when they did the last one and the plan was to have Extra Mural come in and drain her when needed.
I'm so depressed and scared right now. Not only do I have to deal with losing my mother, we're going to have to move out of our apartment and don't know where we're going to go.
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- mrsb04
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- ITP since 2014. Retired nurse. My belief is empower patients to be involved as much as possible in their care. Read, read, read & ALWAYS question medics about the evidence base they use.
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My dad died yesterday afternoon
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- CindyL
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- MelA
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and your Mom too! Hugs!!
"Instead of wasting your time worrying about symptoms, just get it checked out" -Nieca Goldberg, MD
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- MelA
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Thinking of you and your family and sending lots of love.
"Instead of wasting your time worrying about symptoms, just get it checked out" -Nieca Goldberg, MD
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- poseymint
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I mentioned that my mother died in July and I miss her very much. I have not gone back there because of the virus. I'm afraid I will catch it on the plane/airport and give it to my family. So its a lonely feeling to be far away and not be able to say goodbye or help out. No funeral, no flowers, no family- its all a very lonely feeling. I was able to support my sister over the phone because I've had hospice care experience. Also I wrote my mom's obituary and epitaph. But Sept 9 was my mother's birthday and I felt so fatigued all month- I think it was a grief symptom. My mother used to always come to visit around her birthday.
I'm not always sad about it. I am glad shes no longer suffering. I'm looking through photos and remembering the happy times, also I created a display of some of the pretty dishes she had given us along with her photo.
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- mrsb04
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- ITP since 2014. Retired nurse. My belief is empower patients to be involved as much as possible in their care. Read, read, read & ALWAYS question medics about the evidence base they use.
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The funeral directors have agreed to let me see him in the chapel of rest on the morning of his cremation so I can say goodbye to him. My brother saw him on his final day. I had not seen him face to face for 6 months courtesy of Covid 19. Last time I saw him was his 90th birthday party with his children, grandchildren and great grandchildren there. It was a lovely afternoon. We spoke often on the phone until he had his fall and ended up in hospital, never to go home again. I managed a few face times with him when T went to visit him in hospital then the care home.
Another 2 weeks until the service then I will start to feel more normal. My poor brother is having to deal with all the admin involved in a death and clearing the house. T has been helping a lot bless him.
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- CindyL
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Her funeral is paid for, but due to the Covid, we're thinking about just having a graveside service. There's not too many of her friends left.
She has been officially medically discharged, and waiting to go to another floor to wait for a nursing home.
I can't imagine how hard it is for you right now, mrsb. My heart goes out to you at this very difficult time.
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- CindyL
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But now, on top of everything going on, I have no idea where I am going to be living in a month. We can't stay where we are because we're going to lose my mother's income. We're both on disability and don't make much. Rents are outrageous. Even if we were to move into a one bedroom here, it's 1000 bucks. We don't make that between us.
Life really sucks right now!
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- mrsb04
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- ITP since 2014. Retired nurse. My belief is empower patients to be involved as much as possible in their care. Read, read, read & ALWAYS question medics about the evidence base they use.
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Tomorrow we say our final farewells to Dad. I am going to see him in the chapel of rest in the morning then the service at the crematorium is in the afternoon.
Sat here waiting for youngest son to pick me up then we have a 3 hour drive to eldest son's. We decided it would just be too much to do there and back in a day.
The only plus to come out of it is that tomorrow morning I will see my southern grandkids for the first time since February thanks to Covid.
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- CindyL
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We have feelers out for apartments at reasonable prices. Most apartment buildings are more concerned with the rich folks who can afford their high-end apartments. Hopefully we'll find something.
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